That One Time "A" Crossed My Mind

The accurate title for this post should be; That Many Random Times "A" Crossed My Mind. lol 😛 I tweeted a similar thread of this post on my private twitter but my mind is still running at million miles per hour. That's how I know I need to really let this thing out, again! 😅

You know, I honestly thought that A will never cross my mind again since it has been 9 years? I usually have a 7-year limit but oh boy, was I wrong. He crossed my mind once again after 2 years. The last time he crossed my mind was at the 7-year mark 😔

You will always be the anchor to the majority of my twenties what ifs

Anyway, I think I discovered the main reason (on top of other silly reasons) I decided to decline his invitation to a coffee date back then. The phrase "coffee date" was the decisive point that made me say no.

1. Date was a foreign and terrifying concept for my 20-year self. All my life, I think date as a thing that people in an established relationship do. It is not really a thing that two strangers do in my book. Yes, I may sound kolot when I said that, but that's how I was raised. 

2. Coffee is something that I don't fancy. In fact, my 20-year old self hates coffee. She could not even smell coffee without feeling nauseous and wanting to throw up. That's how bad it was. So, it was a no-brainer for her to say no to coffee date.

Having said that, I think I probably would say yes (despite of the other reasons that made me say no), if I were more familiar with and assimilated into the Canadian culture back then. Coffee date is just a casual thing. Heck, even date or should I say dating culture is different in Canada. Also, it does not have to be coffee when people ask you out for a coffee date.

Additionally, my mind decided to play a trick with me by replacing the "coffee date" with "sushi" (because I was, and still am obsessed with sushi!) to slap me with another perspective that I have never think about before.

If he were to text me with, "Would you like to go to a sushi buffet with me?", I would definitely say yes in a heartbeat! Heck, even if he were to text me with a similar text but omitting the word "date", I probably would say yes. But alas, that's not what happened and I chickened out 😐


I was left with those what ifs scenarios in my head, once again 💔

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  1. welcome back kak farah. i also thought that 'date' was actually means having a relationship? not just a simple outing lol

  2. Hi Farah.. It had been years since I came here. Hihi. I still don't get it, what triggering thing that make A still come across in ur mind?

  3. Faham perasaan ni. Tiba2 je rasa teringat benda lama. Lepastu fikir "kalau kita setuju agaknya apa jadi?".

    May you'll met "A" again someday somewhere hehe


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