That One Time "A" Crossed My Mind

The accurate title for this post should be; That Many Random Times "A" Crossed My Mind. lol 😛 I tweeted a similar thread of this post on my private twitter but my mind is still running at million miles per hour. That's how I know I need to really let this thing out, again! 😅

You know, I honestly thought that A will never cross my mind again since it has been 9 years? I usually have a 7-year limit but oh boy, was I wrong. He crossed my mind once again after 2 years. The last time he crossed my mind was at the 7-year mark 😔

You will always be the anchor to the majority of my twenties what ifs


Anyway, I think I discovered the main reason (on top of other silly reasons) I decided to decline his invitation to a coffee date back then. The phrase "coffee date" was the decisive point that made me say no.



1. Date was a foreign and terrifying concept for my 20-year self. All my life, I think date as a thing that people in an established relationship do. It is not really a thing that two strangers do in my book. Yes, I may sound kolot when I said that, but that's how I was raised. 

2. Coffee is something that I don't fancy. In fact, my 20-year old self hates coffee. She could not even smell coffee without feeling nauseous and wanting to throw up. That's how bad it was. So, it was a no-brainer for her to say no to coffee date.

Having said that, I think I probably would say yes (despite of the other reasons that made me say no), if I were more familiar with and assimilated into the Canadian culture back then. Coffee date is just a casual thing. Heck, even date or should I say dating culture is different in Canada. Also, it does not have to be coffee when people ask you out for a coffee date.



Additionally, my mind decided to play a trick with me by replacing the "coffee date" with "sushi" (because I was, and still am obsessed with sushi!) to slap me with another perspective that I have never think about before.

If he were to text me with, "Would you like to go to a sushi buffet with me?", I would definitely say yes in a heartbeat! Heck, even if he were to text me with a similar text but omitting the word "date", I probably would say yes. But alas, that's not what happened and I chickened out 😐

&

I was left with those what ifs scenarios in my head, once again 💔

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3 Comments

  1. welcome back kak farah. i also thought that 'date' was actually means having a relationship? not just a simple outing lol

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  2. Hi Farah.. It had been years since I came here. Hihi. I still don't get it, what triggering thing that make A still come across in ur mind?

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  3. Faham perasaan ni. Tiba2 je rasa teringat benda lama. Lepastu fikir "kalau kita setuju agaknya apa jadi?".

    May you'll met "A" again someday somewhere hehe

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