Lately,

I have been thinking about a lot of random things lately. Things that I don't really have time for or things that I don't allow myself to think about if I were 'busy' with my so-called regular life.

1. On loving my cats.

I think I love my cats as if they were my own kids. I love them so much that I started spending too much money on them. The amount that I have spent on them during this MCO made me want to cut my credit card. I don't have an income right now so it definitely took a toll on my savings. I also became too sensitive and too attentive to anything cats. My family rolled their eyes whenever I made cat-related requests. They also find it amusing when they see me crying because of my cats.

4/9 of my cats :)

Babies just turned 4 months the other day.

I can't help but wonder, is this how my friends feel about their kids? You just want the best for them even at your own expense? You will keep loving them even though they might have a love-and-hate relationship with you? I don't see myself getting married in this lifetime, let alone become a mum so I may never know how they actually feel but can I say that I kinda get a gist of it?

2. On pursuing a Master's degree 

I have put this idea of pursuing a Master's degree on the back burner for quite some time. However, I have started thinking about it again recently. It was all thanks to my friend who posted her acceptance letter to a Master's program and to a YouTuber that I accidentally stumbled upon when browsing through the videos on YouTube. 

I currently have a few options in my mind that I need to do further research about but the thought of pursuing a Master's degree excites me. A feeling that have long lost since I was busy making ends meet. I don't think it's going to be in this year or two but I hope I will get to pursue a Master's degree eventually. The sooner the better but if the situations don't allow it, hopefully, it will be before I turn 35, insya Allah.

3. On dreaming of having someone like Lee Ik Joon in my life

Have you read this post; Hospital Playlist (슬기로운 의사생활) (2020)? If you have, can you sense how much I love Lee Ik Joon? I stopped thinking about what kind of guy I wanted in my life years ago but wow, Lee Ik Joon just showed up like nobody's business and made me think about what kind of guy I want in my life.

As much as I love Lee Ik Joon, I believe the other 4 made him shine too :)

Seriously, someone needs to pull me back to reality as I don't think I can keep dreaming of having someone Lee Ik Joon in my life. I know I said that I don't see myself getting married in this lifetime but I'm a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of love (or maybe the idea of being in love) though I'm scared of everything that comes with it. I can't help but wonder what if someone like Lee Ik Joon shows up in my life? What if I have someone like Lee Ik Joon in my life? Yes, delusional much. I'm very much aware of it. Haha.

4. On realizing one of my dreams

This downtime made me question when will I realize this one dream of mine? A dream that I'm not comfortable sharing just yet. Is it going to happen anytime soon or never? Do I have enough courage and funds to make it a reality? Will I ever regret my decision if I decide to make it a reality? Too many questions left unanswered :(

So, these are some random things that have been popping my mind lately. They are just so random that I don't really understand myself. Like, do I *really* need to think about some of them?