It's been three months since I became a resident of the Town of Banff. I moved here after I got a job offer at one of the locally owned hotels in this town. It was not an offer that I dreamed of but the one that I needed. It came at the perfect time after all the fiasco that happened in my life. Alhamdulillah for that! :)
Yet, I don't think I considered myself to be truly happy here. I want to be happy, I really do! I even put extra effort into being happy but I'm not quite there yet. It feels like I'm missing a few key pieces but I don't know how and where to find them.
Town of Banff
For instance, Banff still does not feel like home which makes me sad. I need Banff to feel like home so that I can feel a sense of belonging. I want to belong here! I find this weird cause this is not my first time living in a national park. It did not take me this long to consider Jasper as my home before. I wonder why it is hard for Banff to hit the "home" spot in my heart?
As for the job, it has been somewhat okay but challenging and draining at times. It is challenging and draining not because of the job itself but because I need to entertain different kinds of people. I have met some of the kindest and lovely people but I also have met some of the shittiest people. Pardon my language but I can't help but to use that kind of word. I have been yelled at and called names by countless guests for things that were out of my control. Like; hello, what can I do if the channel that you are watching is screening a French movie instead of an English movie? I work here, not at a broadcasting company, no? You can just switch the channel. OR Yes, I drive the cab. That's why I know why it is late! OR Yes, I can teleport myself to your room with the stuff that you want right after you call the desk!
Half of my colleagues and I
Sometimes, I feel that I have had enough of this job because of all these rude, jerk and inconsiderate people but thank god for my supportive managers, supervisors, colleagues, and lovely guests that I have encountered. They ease the pain in my heart a little bit. I really hope I can reach the 1-year mark in this position with as few bruises and wounds as possible.
Love both of these dramas :)
As for my social life, it is near to zero existence. The only people that I talk to and interact with are my colleagues, security guys and some of the guests. I don't have anyone that I can call a friend. I don't have anyone to hang out with after work. Basically, I am all alone and I have been feeling quite lonely, which is very sad when I think about it. I rarely feel lonely as I truly enjoy my own solitude but this time is different. I want at least one person to be by my side. Hello, whoever you are, I'm here waiting for you?
Some of the Korean dramas that I have decided to pick up (and drop - a few of them) to compensate for my non-existent social life.
As I have no social life anymore, I resort to watching any Korean dramas that pique my interest. I live my life vicariously through all those different characters. Which again, I find very sad. Anyway, I hope this explains the influx of tweets and posts about Korean dramas on this blog and my Twitter. Sorry, not sorry guys!
All in all, the past 3 months have been very bittersweet for me. I gained some, I lost some. I just hope everything that has been weighing and wearing me down for the past 3 months will go and disappear soon.
Happy 3-month anniversary, Farah! Hope you'll be more happy living in one of the most gorgeous national parks in Canada and may you find the missing pieces of your heart :)
12 Comments
fightinggggg!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! ^^
DeleteStay strong, Farah. Insya Allah, things will get better :)
ReplyDeleteInsya Allah, I'm hoping the same too, kak Farrah ^^
DeleteBestnya Farah bekerja di luar negara.
ReplyDeleteTo me, a room with no roommate is home for me. Hahahaha
And i feel you about wanting a friend. Lagi-lagi bila duduk jauh. Kita nak ada teman yg boleh kita luahkan mcm2 and faham kita. yg sekepala dgn kita. So that tak ada lah rasa lonely sangat bila berjauhan drpd keluarga and being around with the people that is not from our kind.
Be strong and good luck Farah !
Zharif nak kerja sini juga ke? I can tell you the legal way if you are interested :)
DeleteOhhhhh, I'm kinda agree with you. A room with no roommate can be called home. But for me, an apartment with no housemate is home for me! I was so happy for the past few days cause I got no housemates that I literally conquered the whole apartment! ^^
Yes yes, you got me Zharif. I want that kind of friend here. I have few at Lake Louise but they are 1 hour away from me :(
Thanks, Zharif! ^^
bestnya keje kat sana, kena pandai sesuaikan diri. akak kerja dekat bahagian macam customer service ke? saya tak suka deal dengan orang tbh haha, macam2 perangai
ReplyDeleteI think the only few things yang best kerja dekat sini adalah experience, money, and scenery. Yang lain macam sama je kalau kerja dekat Malaysia.
DeleteI'm working at a front desk right now. Tbh, I don't like dealing with people too but I want this experience so I guess I just have to suck it up.
Hi Farah.
ReplyDeleteAlways be strong my friend. From my own experience, loneliness is not about the place, but about oneself. I'm surrounded with so many people, but still feel alone.
Just keep your head up and always be positive. It's just a phase. Nanti beransur laa tu hehehe
Hi cEro.
DeleteThank you so much! :)
While I do agree that loneliness is not about the place, I do think that place actually plays an important role too. Banff is 6 hours flight away from my established support system in Canada. So, I can't help it but to wish that I live near to them so that I will feel less lonely.
sy nak keje jugakkkk kat sanaaaa hahahah... meraung mama sy nnt... x dpt keja, nk g jalan2 kat sanalah... temankan sy ronda2...
ReplyDeleteJemput datang! :)
DeletePost a Comment