Funny Realization About How (My) Feelings Work

This is like an open secret to my close friends, but I had only one crush in my entire twenty-something existence. I always said it was a 7-year crush because I decided to stop having a crush on him after 7 years but truthfully, it wasn't a full 7-year crush. He didn't really cross my mind in that 7 years but I was usually reminded that I had a crush on him at least once a year. That's it.

I do, however remember that back then, I always get giddy whenever he liked my Instagram posts or whenever he sent DMs to me though he was asking boring and normal questions. What a smitten girl you are, Farah. Ha. Ha. Ha. I didn't like the way I behave, so I decided to delete all my Instagram pictures and stop liking his Instagram pictures at one point. Plus, I was struggling with my life so taking a break from social media was like the best decision that I have ever made at that moment.

Farah & Sung Jin Hwan
The only (celebrity) crush that matters ๐Ÿ’–


Few months ago, I received DMs from him after years, and oh boy, was it different this time around! Instead of feeling giddy, I felt nothing. Or to be exact, I felt quite annoyed with him because he can easily google the answers to his endless questions. It also didn't help when he kept questioning my responses.

From that moment, I had this funny realization about how my feelings work. Everything was like a rainbow, a sunshine, an unicorn when I was infatuated by his existence (or more like by his likes and messages). Now that I have reached this age and have neutral feeling about him, his likes and especially messages mean nothing to me. They were like other conversations that I usually have with my friends.

To the younger Farah,

Thank you for deciding to stop having a crush on him. That's like one of the best decisions that you have ever made at that age. I'm eternally grateful for your decision for I don't think I can do the same if I were in your shoes.


  1. Farah! so sweet that guy! Hahaha.. Actually k.nina tak tau pun selama 8y bf suka diam2. nk tahu perkembangan tgk IG, likes, dm. Maybe pemalu kot nk ckp benda yg sebenarnya.

    1. Tang mana this guy sweet? Confused kita. Hahaha. Woah, consistent boyfriend kak Nina ni. Bagus bagus. Moga Allah permudahkan untuk ke peringkat seterusnya :)

    2. semua laki ada sweet dorang masing2.. semoga farah juga dpt jodoh yg baik2. aminn :) eh bila nk balik sini

    3. Entahlah. Tak pernah jumpa lelaki sweet sweet ni. Hahaha. Insya Allah, lagi sebulan dua baliklah saya :)

  2. this year is the 5th year i'm having a crush on this one guy. i remember i felt really happy when he first talked to me or like my IG posts but now i don't really have feelings anymore although we've became closer hahaha he's getting married soon. i guess love never works for me.

    1. Wah, boleh tahan lama juga your crush. Maybe not for this guy but Insya Allah, there's a better guy, a perfect fit for you :)

      As for me, this crush of mine just got married on my birthday. If this were to happen few years ago, I might bawl my eyes out. Hahahaha. Alhamdulillah, nasib dah matang dan takde perasaan so I'm happy for him. Hopefully he'll be happy with his wife ^^

  3. Replies
    1. Tak rasa macam memendam rasa pun. Mungkin sebab the feeling that I had back then macam suka celebrity :D


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