Thursday, 11 January 2018

On Being Single By Choice & Posting Countless Contradictory Statements

When I was 18, I decided to abstain myself from being in a romantic relationship until I'm 30. It was a conscious choice that I made when I was a teenager but it is something that I still hold dearly until today. Some of my friends who were aware about this decision of mine asked me why did I decide to do so the age of 18 and I truly wish I had a better answer to give to them than "I don't know. I just feel like it." but honestly, I don't.

Some of them were quite skeptical and said that maybe I got my heart broken by someone before and that led me to my decision. But, no, I have never got my heart broken (...yet, and hopefully it's gonna stay that way) over this so-called romantic relationship as I have never been into one. Yes, you read it right. This girl right here is single since birth. #teammotaesolo #모태솔로

I just felt that way at that time and still feel that way until today, though I think I have better reasons why I want to be single now. Right now, I have a lot to work on myself. When I said a lot, it really means A. LOT. I'm also in the middle of making important decisions that will greatly affect my future so I simply don't have time for this. My non-existent social life also helps me to keep being single. So I'm all set to be single.

I'm good, happy, and very much content with this decision of mine.

However, I also have this habit of making fun of myself by posting and saying countless contradictory statements online or in real life to this specific decision of mine after getting triggered by something sweet and heart fluttering. Guys, I'm very much romantic at heart though I look like singa lapar all the time, okay? I find this habit really funny but I think some of my friends  and my family members find it sad and pathetic. As per my friends said, "La, kau kata kau happy jadi single. Tapi, kenapa nak tweet "I wish I had a boyfriend/husband" (or something along the lines) bagai. Pergilah cari seorang. Apa susah?" Or my mum's scary response, "Kata tak nak fikir pasal kahwin. Ni apasal tiba-tiba ni? Tapi, Mama lagi suka kalau kau nak kahwin. Dah ada boyfriend ke belum? Nak Mama carikan seorang?" -_____-

I like to think that they were not fully aware about the context though I explicitly explained or mentioned things that triggered me to tweet or say something like that beforehand. Most of the times, I tweet something like, "Ni yang buat rasa macam nak ada boyfriend/husband ni!" or something along those lines after watching heart fluttering drama scenes, or after reading translation of songs that I usually listen to, or after reading something sweet. The keywords that usually trigger this habit are always heart fluttering and sweet. However, in rare cases, the surrounding that I was in also can trigger this behavior. Oh hello Seoul! I'm talking about you!

The thing is I don't really mean all of them. I said and tweeted about all those stuff just for the sake of making fun of myself. This girl needs to have fun sometimes, no? It's not going to be fun anymore if everyone keep questioning everything. So, please help me to have fun by letting me making fun of myself in this way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you might see my rambling and ranting about me wanting a boyfriend or husband (lol!) sometimes on my Twitter or in this blog or even in my real life but trust me I don't really mean them. They are all jokes for myself. I still want to stay single for the next few years and I'm perfectly happy being single at this age! You don't have to worry about me and you don't need to feel pressed about what I tweeted and said. Just let me have fun by making fun of myself okay? :)

31 comments:

  1. At least it is good that you don't feel pressured by them hahaha. I think I was in that phase before, so I can relate when you plan to be single for another few years.

    Anyway, I watched a video about this. Marriage is not the end goal, but a tool to reach our final destination which is to return to Allah. While we are not committed to any relationship yet, fulfill our hearts with Him and good values. So that we don't enter marriage with empty heart, waiting to be filled by our partner. :) Giving is always better than receiving, but human still need both. :)


    hanisamanina.com

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    1. I honestly have yet to feel the pressure but I really don't like it when my extended family members ask me, "Bila nak kahwin?"

      Thank you for sharing that, Hanis! I totally agree on how we need to fulfill our hearts with Him and good values. That's something that I'm currently working on too ^^

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  2. I think we share the same matter about 'no special person till 30' ^^ hhaha keep standing on the solid ground sis! :)

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  3. Yahh, i feel you. Previous time ago rasa macamni. Being single tak salah pon, lagi bagus coz dapat ajar diri kita independent right. But for me, sometime still need someone untuk share prob or anything. Kawan ada, tapi tula teringin. Hehee.

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    1. It's okay, Fatin. It's normal to feel that way. Fitrah kot ^^

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  4. I can relate hahahahaha sometimes I like joking about wanting to have someone special after watching heart-fluttering dramas. However, deep down I know I am not ready to commit myself loving someone because I have a lot in hand I had yet to accomplish :')

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    1. I guess a lot of people share the same sentiment :)

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  6. Hahah! Yass sometimes we just tweet/write about random things & some people take it seriously. Plus they thought that we really mean it. Hehee. Nani pun sekarang belum masuk lagi fasa nak mencintai dan dicintai ni. Hahahah! I just want to finish my study first, get a job.

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    1. Kan, Nani! All the best for your future undertakings, Nani :)

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  7. This cracks me up.. Well, I think korean dramas are enough to keep us occupied from this jiwa kosong matters.. There are times I felt like, I'm ready but some of the times I just felt like I'm better to be alone.. And no it's okay.. Drama is enough for me.. xD

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    1. Yes, totally. I live my life vicariously through all the characters in the dramas that I watch ^^

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  8. Masing2 ada pendapat dan prinsip tersendiri. As long as that decion make u happy. Kadang bila kita tweet something yang diluar kebiasaan kita of course that tweet akan tarik perhatian org. Biasalah kan. Kak ana pun suka reply on those tweet. Saja nak memeriahkan suasana.

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    1. Kalau setakat nak memeriahkan suasana tu takpe, kak Ana. Tapi kalau yang menyindir ni tu yang malas nak layan kadang-kadang.

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    2. Kalau yg menyindir tu buat tak tahu je. Biasa lah manusia mana senang tgk org lain ok sikit dr dia kan. Just ignore those not so kind-hearted people. Takde faedah melayan org2 mcm tu. ❤

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    3. Memang selalu tak layan pun. Tapi kadang bila mood tengah tak elok tu yang kadang nak melenting je.

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  9. i feel you and i can relate. especially bila tengok kdrama part yg sweet2 tu. tapiii no boyfriend no problem. lol. lets the time decide.

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  10. hahaha betul tu, bila tengok ada org sweet2 depan kita ke, selalu sangat cakap nak ada boyfriend juga. tapi sebenarnya main2 je xD tak retilah saya ni nak sweet2 bagai(nasib muda lagi hehe)

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    1. Kan Mazni kan. Akak ni yang tak berapa nak muda sangat ni pun tak reti sweer-sweet juga. Hahaha :D

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  11. hahahahaha... betul tu... tp kalu sindir menyindir tu wat x tau je laa... apa nk heran, rambut sm blonde hati lain2... anggap je laa dia diorg cemburu dgn kita haha

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    1. Gituuuuu kan. Rambut blonde. Hahahaha :D

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  12. I know how it feels. I used to be single for quite some times, and yah I did the thing you do, like saying "why am I still single" and stuff whilst Im the one who decide to stay single. I just yknow want to be free, but then I met a guy and not intentionally to be in a relationship with him. But idk it just happened. lol.

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    1. Hope you'll be happy with him, ee :)

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  13. can i stay single a lil bit longer pleaase before all the commitments hehehe.. been there done that Farah. its normal to have that thoughts in mind. ull be just fine =)

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  14. Hahaha..biasa tuu...pada akk la kan...tweet tu kita selalunya rambling about what we think..biasanya laa..tapi kadang-kadang bukan jugak..

    it's all about jodoh jugak..kadang kita kata tak nak, Allah bg..kadang bila kata nak, Allah simpan dulu permintaan kita..hahaha..I know the feelllllllllllllllssss..haha

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    1. Itulah pasal. My tweets are usually just a tweet. Takde hidden meaning pun :)

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