On Being Single by Choice & Posting Countless Contradictory Statements

When I was 18, I decided to abstain from being in a romantic relationship until I was 30. It was a conscious choice that I made when I was a teenager but it is something that I still hold dearly until today. Some of my friends who were aware of this decision of mine asked me why I decided to do so at the age of 18 and I truly wish I had a better answer to give to them than "I don't know. I just feel like it." but honestly, I don't.

Some of them were quite skeptical and said that maybe I got my heart broken by someone before and that led me to my decision. But, no, I have never got my heart broken (...yet, and hopefully it's gonna stay that way) over this so-called romantic relationship as I have never been into one. Yes, you read it right. This girl right here has been single since birth. #teammotaesolo #모태솔로

I just felt that way at that time and still feel that way today, though I think I have better reasons why I want to be single now. Right now, I have a lot to work on myself. When I say a lot, it really means A. LOT. I'm also in the middle of making important decisions that will greatly affect my future so I simply don't have time for this. My non-existent social life also helps me to keep being single. So I'm all set to be single.

I'm good, happy, and very much content with this decision of mine.

However, I also have this habit of making fun of myself by posting and saying countless contradictory statements online or in real life about this specific decision of mine after getting triggered by something sweet and heart-fluttering. Guys, I'm very much romantic at heart though I look like singa lapar all the time, okay? I find this habit really funny but I think some of my friends and my family members find it sad and pathetic. As my friends said, "La, kau kata kau happy jadi single. Tapi, kenapa nak tweet "I wish I had a boyfriend/husband" (or something along the lines) bagai. Pergilah cari seorang. Apa susah?" Or my mum's scary response, "Kata tak nak fikir pasal kahwin. Ni apasal tiba-tiba ni? Tapi, Mama lagi suka kalau kau nak kahwin. Dah ada boyfriend ke belum? Nak Mama carikan seorang?" -_____-


I like to think that they were not fully aware of the context though I explicitly explained or mentioned things that triggered me to tweet or say something like that beforehand. Most of the time, I tweet something like, "Ni yang buat rasa macam nak ada boyfriend/husband ni!" or something along those lines after watching heart-fluttering drama scenes, or after reading a translation of songs that I usually listen to, or after reading something sweet. The keywords that usually trigger this habit are always heart-flattering and sweet. However, in rare cases, the surroundings that I was in also can trigger this behaviour. Oh hello, Seoul! I'm talking about you!

The thing is I don't really mean all of them. I said and tweeted about all that stuff just for the sake of making fun of myself. This girl needs to have fun sometimes, no? It's not going to be fun anymore if everyone keeps questioning everything. So, please help me to have fun by letting me make fun of myself in this way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you might see my rambling and ranting about me wanting a boyfriend or husband (lol!) sometimes on my Twitter or in this blog or even in my real life but trust me I don't really mean them. They are all jokes for me. I still want to stay single for the next few years and I'm perfectly happy being single at this age! You don't have to worry about me and you don't need to feel pressed about what I tweeted and said. Just let me have fun by making fun of myself okay? :)